How to overcome the never-ending cycle of fear!

Do you get scared when you start thinking about trying something new?

It is perfectly normal to get scared when stepping into something new, however YOU CAN OVERCOME this and easily start stepping out of your comfort zone on a regular basis - read on to find out how! 

Before we get into it though, be honest with yourself, which zone are you in right now?

 First, I want to share WHY we get scared:

The reason why we get scared when just thinking about doing something new is because our mind is programmed to keep us in a familiar space.  The familiar space is what we already know, it’s where we feel safe and in control – it is our COMFORT ZONE.  The funny thing is that our comfort zone isn’t necessarily what is BEST for us, or even good for us…it’s just giving us a feeling or sense of safety.  Our mind is always looking out to “keep us safe” in a life or death situation, even when that worst case isn’t on the table at the moment.

So naturally, our brain tries to keep us in our comfort zone through instilling fear and self-doubt.  It builds a compelling story against you stepping forward and doing the thing, whatever it may be.

Have you ever said these things to yourself:

 “I can’t do this”

“I am not good/smart/fit enough to do this”

“Who am I to think I can do this?”

“I need to understand a lot more about this before I can start.”

etc. 

These stories we tell ourselves are ultimately breaking us down; they tell us we can’t do something for one reason or another, and that we need to WAIT to do it until these other boxes are checked.

This ultimately creates a cycle within us that distracts us from actually stepping forward and outside of our comfort zone.

We end up wasting time researching, and trying to talk ourselves through the other check boxes first before doing the thing - I need to be better at this or that first, I need more research, I need to be in a different place mentally, etc.

There is HOPE though; you CAN break this cycle, and I’m sharing the simple 4 step process below after a quick (very pertinent) personal story!

Really quick, I’m the woman in the below picture - my name is Lacey, and here is my amazing family!

 A quick little side story of mine about overcoming my greatest “Comfort zone”:

I used to struggle with chronic anxiety.  If any of you know what that is like, then you know that fear is at the forefront of most things we do.  I was told that I needed to be on an SSRI for the rest of my life, so I tried that and it helped a little, but didn’t “take away” the anxiety, the persistent negative thoughts, the brain fog, etc. like I wanted it to. 

I knew NOTHING about overcoming anxiety at the beginning of my journey, and my brain surely reminded me of that….but I embraced the journey to figure it out, because I wanted something more in my life.  I wanted to enjoy the amazing life that already existed in front of me; the life that I took for granted because fear was always on my mind keeping me from enjoying it – time with my husband, my kids, friends, etc. 

I learned WHY I was scared to get out of my comfort zone - I learned that my brain was just trying to protect me, and that I was not in a life-or-death situation on a daily basis.  I started questioning those comments and beliefs I had about myself, and broke the stagnant cycle. 

After I broke the cycle, the trick I used to continually grow outside of my comfort zone was to keep doing the things that the person I wanted to become would do.  I wasn’t actually that person at the start, but I BECAME that person after I was doing what they would do on a daily basis!  I started with baby steps, and I still am continuing to do this on a daily basis.

THIS is how you step out of your comfort zone!!  The confidence comes AFTER you take the action and do the thing!  Just start doing it - even if it’s messy (and it will be to start). The fear is then disintegrated, the self-doubt melts away - this is because you’ve done it it’s given proof to your brain that you can do it, and its safe!

I want to mention here that I am no different than you – I don’t have any special capabilities – I just kept going, and embracing the uncomfortable things as I could handle them, which was different on a day to day basis. 

Now for the good part – the 4 step secret to help you break this cycle in YOUR life!

1.      Recognize that these scary thoughts coming up are just your minds’ normal reaction to help you stay safe! 

2.      Ask yourself if you are in a life or death situation.  If not, then gently remind your brain that you ARE safe.

3.      Question those doubts that come up – ask yourself, is this really, without a doubt true?

4.      Step up and do the thing you want to do - do it messy, because it’s better messy now than waiting 3 years to make it perfect first…because time is our largest commodity!

If you are looking for your sign to go out and do the thing you’ve been waiting to do, here is your message:

DO the things NOW that the person you want to become would do, and THEN you will actually become that person, you will be confident and overcome your fears!

When you get out of your comfort zone, you truly begin to LIVE!!